15 Ways To Live Compassionately As A Family... From A Kid Who Was Just There

I turned 18 this year, and that makes it official: My parents have successfully raised me through my childhood. 

I, of course, appreciate every single sacrifice they made for me, but what I am most thankful to my parents for is that they have raised me and my brother in a home where living compassionately is part of who our family is and how we do life. 

It is messy, yes. But it is also full to the brim with joy, redemption and hope.

So I was thinking, through these lazy summer days, how do I best share our story of living compassionately as a family and encourage families like ours? 

And so here is my list of 

15 Ways To Live Compassionately As A Family

from a kid just on the other side of 18 who knows first-hand what it's like to be raised in a home where living compassionately is part of our DNA.

This list is split into 3 parts: Awareness, Action and Lifestyle. I'll explain along the way.

Ready? Here it goes:

Awareness

Understanding why compassionate living is important to us, our world, and our walk with Jesus was so important to me and who I've become. 

1. Do Step Into My Shoes together! Designed by Compassion International for families, Step Into My Shoes is a curriculum full of resources to help your family understand poverty & what God wants us to do about it. Check it out: www.stepintomyshoes.ca.

2. Pray for the World. Here's a good place to start: www.operationworld.org. We did this for a while when my brother and I were younger. Learning about the struggles of people all over the world and learning how to pray for something other than my own little world was an eye-opening, worldview-shaping experience. 

3. Devo Together. Do justice- and compassion-centred Bible time together. 

Here are a few suggestions: 

:: One In Spirit - Compassion International

:: Unwrapping The Greatest Gift - Ann Voskamp

:: The Poverty and Justice Bible

:: A Place At The Table - Chris Seay

Christmas 2014 - Reading from Ann Voskamp's Advent Devotional, Unwrapping the Greatest Gift.

4. Read Compassion-Centred Books. As a family or individually.

Here are a few suggestions:

:: Kisses from Katie - Katie Davis

:: Rhinestone Jesus - Kristin Welch

:: Overrated - Eugene Cho

5. Watch Compassion-Centred Movies. Documentaries that tackle a certain issue or ones you'd find in your local movie theatre that simply carry a compassion-centred message.

Here are a few suggestions:

:: Living On One

:: The Live 58: Film

:: The Blind Side

:: The Help

Action

Pretty self-explanatory - Faith without works is dead... Engage your family in a living, breathing, moving faith.

6. Stop For Panhandlers More Often Than Not. This is probably the thing that my parents exemplified to us growing up that had the biggest impact on me as a child, because without thinking twice, they would interrupt our everyday life to buy a panhandler a meal. This is so normal to my brother and I that we eventually started doing it on our own. This gesture, however small, can have a big impact... both on the panhandler and your family. 

7. Sponsor A Child. This is where our family's story in compassionate living really started getting intense. It opened our eyes to this huge world of need and hopelessness, as well as the redemption and hope that is truly within grasp. We could no longer turn a blind eye. 

Big side note I'll add to this: WRITE to your child!!! It's a fantastic family activity and it means the world to your little one on the other side of the globe.

May 2012 - Writing letters to our Compassion children as a family.
[How many laptops does it take...? ;)]

8. Kiva. Kiva rocks. Basically: You make $25 loans to impoverished small business owners to help pull them from poverty. Choosing a borrower and reading their stories = Another great family activity. This two-sentence crash course definitely does not suffice, so check out www.kiva.org to see just how awesome Kiva truly is.

9. Seek Out Opportunities to Serve Together. It will be hard to find places where kids are allowed or where you all have a role in which you thrive. Don't give up. Keep trying and searching for a place where you all can serve together because it is so. important. to serve as a family. It was invaluable for me to, from a very young age, serve and engage with people from all walks of life.

Here are a few places/ways our family has served together:

:: Compassion Advocate Network

:: Out of the Cold Homeless Dinners

:: Self-Organized Sandwich Runs (Head downtown with bagged lunches or care packages and offer them to the homeless, along with a smile and some conversation.)

:: Local Food Bank(s)

:: UrbanPromise

Fall 2014 - Volunteering at a Compassion booth at a local event - one of our favourite family activities!  

October 2012 - My dad and brother bring a bagged lunch to a homeless man on one of our sandwich runs.

10. Give & Make Opportunities to Give. Ever since I can remember, we've had what we call a "Shoebox Bin"... When my brother or I brought home a small toy or trinket from a loot bag, happy meal, etc., we were to choose whether to keep it or place it in the "Shoebox Bin" - our year-round collection of toys to place in Operation Christmas Child Shoeboxes come Christmastime. This instilled in me, at a very young age, the concept of sacrificial giving. 

This can happen in your home in a variety of ways... A change jar placed in the foyer [If your family is a little too old for loot bags and happy meals.], emptying piggy banks to contribute to relief efforts after natural disasters, or making a rule of setting aside a portion of weekly allowance to be given away. 

Christmas 2014 - Packing Christmas Shoeboxes is still a well-loved tradition in our family...
One we've come to share with many other families!

Lifestyle

Intentional changes to regular things you do as a family helps distinguish between doing compassionate things and living compassionately...

11. Give Up Birthday Parties/Presents. For my brother's 10th birthday, he asked that instead of presents, people bring backpacks filled with school supplies for underprivileged kids in our city. For my Dad's 45th, everyone was invited to the local food bank to sort food together. These have been some of our most memorable birthday celebrations. 

September 2010 - My papa having a blast at his 45th Birthday Party at the Food Bank!

September 2010 - My brother, Jon, and his birthday backpacks!

12. Vacation Intentionally. If you can vacation internationally, go visit your sponsored child. If you vacation locally or do road trips, find places to serve. Dedicate even just one day of your trip or vacation time to visiting a local ministry to learn more about their work and how you can support them or pray for them.

Summer 2014 - Flying into Masbate, Philippines to meet our Compassion girl, Florianlyn.

Summer 2014 - Meeting Florianlyn!

Summer 2014 - Visiting a Habitat for Humanity build site where homes are being built for Typhoon Haiyan victims in Daanbantayan, Philippines.

Summer 2014 - Meeting our Compassion boy, JD, and a friend's Compassion boy, Jamson, in Cebu City, Philippines.

Summer 2013 - Visiting a Habitat for Humanity ReStore in Lancaster, Pennsylvania.

Summer 2013 - Visiting UrbanPromise in Wilmington, Delaware.

Summer 2011 - Our first trip to the Philippines to meet our Compassion child, Florianlyn, and our then-future LDP student, Rechelle.

13. Buy Fair Trade. Coffee, Chocolate, and Sugar are the biggest culprits for being produced with bonded labour, child labour, and slavery. Next up is clothing.

Here are a few places to start shopping:

:: Ten Thousand Villages

:: Camino products

:: The Mercy Shop

:: Freeset

And if you can't buy it fair trade, then buy less. Wear your clothes to the threads, use your iPhone to its bitter end [and get it fixed rather than throwing it out and buying a new one!], eat/drink less coffee, chocolate and sugar [pssst... it's bad for you anyways, sorry to break it to you. ;)]. And this brings me to #14...

14. Live Simply. One of the biggest things that my parents exemplified that allowed us to pursue compassionate living is saying no. I know, it's not really an exciting tip. But sometimes, we have to say no to buying the latest doodad or joining the latest extra curricular activity in order to say yes to God's call to serve and love the least of these. We had a rule in our house: We were each allowed one type of lesson or sport outside of school at a time. I believe that rule kept me [and definitely my mom] sane as a kid and it surely gave us time to say yes to various serving opportunities placed in our lives.

15. Make Compassionate Living Something You Can't Live Without. It'll get messy. You'll hate it sometimes. There will be many days where you wish you could simply go back to turning a blind eye to all the suffering in the world. Most days, it'll be easier to stay home and have family movie night or game night. But allow compassionate living to permeate your life. Allow pictures of/from your sponsored child to cover your walls, and compassion-centred events to fill your calendar, and social justice issues to fill your conversations. You'll soon find that, while there are still hard days, this lifestyle and the joy, hope and redemption it brings is something you can't imagine your family going on without. 

The bottom line here is this - Families and kids can make a difference together for their communities' and the world's most vulnerable and oppressed people.

I hope this list and our family's journey inspire you and encourage you even just a little... to let compassionate living permeate your family's life and bring you closer to each other, to the world's vibrant people and places, and most importantly, to Jesus.

In what ways is your family engaging in compassionate living?

To Mamas Everywhere -

I've seen the scene play out many times.

You're chatting with me or that adorable, kind, genius not-so-little brother of mine.

I might be telling you about Wilmington or True Story and maybe he's telling you about how all these little kids crammed into this tiny house in one of the most underdeveloped parts of the Philippines to watch him solve a Rubik's Cube.

And after a few minutes of conversation, you'll turn to our Mama who's most likely close by and you'll say those words that will make that Mama of ours squirm a little -

"You did good raising these two."

And I'll smile and nod because you're right - she's one great Mama and I'm so thankful she's my Mama.

But I know what inevitably comes next. She'll smile and open her mouth to respond and through these few short words, you'll see what makes her such a great Mama.

"No, their Heavenly Father did good. It's only by His grace."

My mama always tells me she doesn't want to be special. Yet I could solve world hunger if I had a dime for every time someone asked her how she does it.

And she doesn't know how to answer because she really doesn't think there's anything special about the way she does the whole Mom thing. It's simply in her blood. But I get it, there is something incredibly special about my mama.

I know it is not normal that her two kids spend their days off driving to the inner city to hang out at a UrbanPromise Rubik's Cube Club or that we collectively sponsor 3 kids through Compassion Canada.

And my mama has been such a huge part of why that is.

Why? Because...

She sacrificed so much to be our full-time mama. Every kid says that. But for real - after working her butt off for 5 years to earn her Bachelor's of Landscape Architecture, she never pursued a career as an Architect in order to be a Mother. In this climb-the-ladder world, I don't know too many people who are selfless enough to give up their entire career for even their children. But being able to come home for lunch until I was 14, knowing my mama would be home after school after a particularly rough day, or always letting her be the first one to know about my greatest accomplishments from the day made me the woman I am today.

She taught us by example. She never asked us to give something away that we hadn't seen her give before. She conquers her fears, rides victory and losses, gives and receives with a grace and posture that inspires and informs so much of the way I carry myself today. She said yes when I begged and begged for a little Compassion International sister, so how could I say no when the opportunity came for me to sponsor my own little girl? She always brought us along when serving at church or in the community, because she wanted us to see and be involved from a very young age.

She expected excellence from us. No, not perfection. But excellence. A performance that was our best - one that we could be proud of. On a similar note, she expected us to be generous. To whom much is given much is required, and my mama expected us to give of our money, time and lives to the least of these, because she knew that's where we would find our greatest joy.

Most importantly, she knew that the best possible parent we could ever have would be our Heavenly Father. At the end of the day, none of these great parenting decisions meant anything if she didn't know that ultimately, we are God's children. It all comes down to grace, she always says. And that, friend, is what truly makes her a great mama.

And you know something else about my mama? She wishes that every mama could have kids who spend their time and money in unusual ways like hers, so that the way she and her children live are no longer unusual.

And I think that's why she's so disturbed by those questions or comments of "How did you do it?" 

Because she does not want to be extraordinary.

So, to all you wonderful, beautiful mamas out there, on this day that celebrates YOU, can I encourage you to be extraordinary?

It will take courage, but simply bringing life into this world is courageous, so we all know that mamas possess the courage already.

It will take sacrifice, but I know that you would give anything for your children.

It will take trust in a God who loves your children more than you ever could, but I truly believe that you will find even greater peace in giving it up to Him.

It will be the hardest thing ever because (trust me, I've lived this first-hand) us kids are so darn stubborn sometimes...

But I believe you can raise your kids to be great.

But more importantly - I believe their Heavenly Father will. 

And I pray that you would have the power to truly and deeply believe that, at the very core of who you are as not only a mother, but as the beautiful, courageous woman of God that you are.

Wilmington Again

I owe this blog an update, I know.

This blog and I will have a good, cozy catch up soon, but it's going to have to wait at least a week... because I'm tapping out this quick little note to say...

I'm going back to UrbanPromise Wilmington again on a compassion trip with my youth group... tomorrow. 

Friends, I am beyond excited. Could I just ask you two favours?

Pray for me & the team. Some of my prayer notes from previous trips to Wilmington would still apply... Find those here and here.

Pray for my family as I leave them behind on their own compassion mission right here at home... Read about that on my mama's blog here. I look forward to joining back up with this compassion team when I come back home on Saturday.

Thank you, thank you, thank you for prayers. They give strength and breathe life in remarkable, world-shaking, holy ways.



Wilmington 2012:
Shining In A City Called Wilmington
3 More Sleeps
Wilmington

Wilmington 2013:
Wilmington, Take 2
Stories from Wilmington: Comfort & Discomfort
Stories from Wilmington: You Don't Choose Where You Were Born
Stories from Wilmington: Because It's More Than Just A Job

In Loving Memory of Ankong Papa...

The blog silence ends to honour the memory of my beloved grandfather Ankong Papa...

On the evening after celebrating Christ's victory over death, we received word from half a planet away: After a life well-lived, Ankong Papa had taken his final breaths here on earth and stepped into the everlasting arms of Jesus. 

And what we had just celebrated over the weekend - this story of an empty grave - waits to be put into practice. Because believe it - the Resurrection means that this news is not supposed to be sad, but part of our Heavenly Father's perfect plan. 

But of course, this side of eternity, it's so hard to understand, to grapple with the fact that we won't see Ankong Papa the next time we visit the Philippines, that there will be no new pictures, no more phone calls or Facetime, no birthday cards that somehow get mailed so they arrive exactly on the day.

And so this week is full of tears and grief, as we try our hardest to cry less and celebrate the life of our dearly loved father and grandfather.

Many girls remember their grandfather for many different things. I've spent most of my life half a world away from my grandfather, and growing up, I often thought I had few memories with him.

Yet as of late, and as I scanned photo after photo after photo this week, I've realized how thankful I should be for the many fond memories of Ankong Papa that I will have to cherish.

One of our last photos together, during our most recent trip to the Philippines.

I will always remember my grandfather for the man whose courage and determination is the reason for so much of who I am.

I'll remember an avid basketball fan.

I'll remember the little kid he was, deep down inside:

Looking back on pictures made me realize what a great smile Ankong Papa had. :)

I'll remember the screaming-loud phone calls my dad had with him because of the combination of terrible long distance and Ankong's hearing problems. ;)

I'll remember him as pretty much the only reason why I understand Chinese.

I'll remember our language-barriered conversations. 'Cause it should work since I understand Chinese and he understands English, but somehow that theory never worked in practice. Ha. [And so I'm so very thankful that the next time we talk, we'll speak the same language. :)]

I'll remember his crazy sharp memory.

I'll remember him by birthday cards I've kept from when I turned 7 and 8 [because, as I just found out as my dad, aunts and uncles are sorting through some of his things, I inherited my pack-rat-ness from Ankong Papa. ;)] and my Chinese name [which I should really learn how to write!].

I'll remember Ankong Papa's quiet simplicity and steady peacefulness.

All in all, I'll simply remember my grandpa who I loved dearly and I already miss very much. It's odd to think that he won't be in his house next time we visit, or that I won't have to mail him my grad photo next year.

But I know that while he'll be dearly missed, one of Jesus' greatest gifts to us was that I won't have to miss Ankong Papa forever. 

And so - I am deeply thankful.

My [Teenage?!] Brother

Yeah, that's right!

He's a teenager!

And I've officially ended my struggle to be taller.

It's hopeless.

To my favourite brother,

Happy Birthday.

I pray that you'd always dream God-sized dreams. 

That you'd smile big, laugh hard, and never stop telling those jokes. 

That you'd frown deep at what's not OK, cry angry tears and never stop fighting against injustice in Jesus' name, in everything you do.

That one day that brain of yours that built a robot to do your homework for you in grade one, will change the world in partnership with that heart of yours that cares deeply for the oppressed. 

That His joy would follow you wherever you go, and His peace would find you whenever you're not quite sure.

That you'd never stop asking questions, and never stop hunting for answers. 

That one day, you'll break the Rubik's cube world record.

And in everything, I pray that you'd chase our Heavenly Father's best for you.

Happy Birthday, teenager. You inspire me in ways you'll never know.

Love,

The Shorter Sibling

Road Trippin'

Super thankful for vacation and travel time these past few days - with my parents and my brother, showing them Wilmington and visiting Corning, NY and Niagara Falls on the way home, and a few days spent with my mom's whole side of the family sprinkled in between, visiting Lancaster, PA.

[Fourteen of us trekking around Lancaster, PA. Was is crazy? Yes. Was it loud? Yes. But I wouldn't have traded it for anything. :)]

As we gear up around here for the return to routine and back to school (already?!), here are some photos from our trip.

Day 1: Beautiful Sunset on our drive down.

Day 2: Visiting the church that I stayed at during both my Compassion trips to Wilmington, DE!

And Brandywine Park across the street. :)

Visiting the UrbanPromise Wilmington office. They're on break - not much staff and no kids, but we still met some staff and I got to show my family around, which was so awesome. :)

Presto - our fave coffee shop and everyday hang out down there. 

Pointing out the community where some of the UrbanPromise Camp Victory (my camp!) kids live on a map in the restaurant we stopped at for lunch.

Family shot in the window. :)

Planking on some bike racks. :P

Checking out the DuPont Environmental Education Center in Wilmington. It was so awesome to have the chance be a tourist in this city. There's way more stuff than what I was able to see or even hear about in my two weeks there - obviously a different focus last time I was there.

Day 3: Driving along the Brandywine River. 

Checking out the Hagley Museum in Wilmington - all about the DuPont company's start in that city.

Trying to write with quill pens at the schoolhouse. My leftie mama learned why they forced kids to write with their right hand - almost impossible to use a quill pen with your left!

In front of the DuPont house.

Day 4: Driving into Lancaster, PA and sharing the road with the Amish! :) 

Annnd, our extended family has arrived at our hotel after driving down a few days after us! :)

Day 5: Visiting the Amish Village - a set-up, but quite authentic and true to the culture of the Amish in Lancaster. 

Checking out a buggy with my cousin (the only other girl amongst us cousins - we gotta stick together!) and our grandpa.

And with my brother. :)

My buddy the pig.

Feeding a goat! :D

Visiting the Amish schoolhouse - my mom's the teacher! ;)

My little cousins - forever running around. :) #lovethem

The whole gang!

1, 2, 3, JUMP!

When Canadians go to Pennsylvania, we shop. And pretend to ride the rides at the outlet malls. ;) 

Stumbled upon an exhibit about the roots of Anabaptists and Mennonites - so cool to be able to learn about our church's roots! :)

Cousins - all 6 of us. :)

Day 6: What sparked this trip in the first place: My grandma wanted us to go see a show at Sight & Sound Theatre - a theatre bringing the Bible to life. We saw their production of Noah - very well done & super great! :)

Shopping x2! Boys and grandparents waiting while the girls are shopping.

Day 7: Sending our family off - back home after a great time together while we stay on a couple more days. (One of these kids is NOT happy about gearing up for 9.5 hours in a car - can you spot him? Haha.) 

Visiting the Habitat for Humanity ReStore on our way out of Lancaster - we love Habitat. :)

After some driving - we stop in Corning, NY and visit the Corning Museum of Glass. 

Day 8: Spending the morning in downtown Corning. (That rhymed! :P)

Found a cute little Farmer's Market for brunch!

Almost home! Spending the afternoon at Niagara Falls - that place never gets old. :)

Super super thankful for this time spent with my family! :)